yiaichenn: 221b-mine-please: pirenstoletheimpala: mycroft-queenofcake: iamjayse: thenerdfighterkid: slydig: tsarbucks: slydig: dont be mean be median or mode damn math fandom bloggers shut up we have a good range of jokes this is our domain guys we’re forgetting the point of this post and going off on a tangent Are you all done cos I’ve had enough of this by now ...
southeasternprep: zillatamer: letterstogodptiii: tea-books-and-blankets: yaygocats: discomplete: “i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography “I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel. “I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy “I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a...
meladoodle: meladoodle: when boys smile, i die oh…
fluttershwee: benoistmelissas: DO NOT SPEAK TO ME WHEN I HAVE HEADPHONES ON JESUS CHRIST
ifeelitinmyboness: musermatt: superkim111: no-the-fandoms-protested: musermatt: iamthepizzaslut: YA’LL WANNA SEE WHAT A “REAL FAN” LOOKS LIKE CUZ THERE’S ONE STANDING IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DEFINE WHAT A “REAL FAN” IS WHAT MAKES ONE FAN MORE “REAL” THAN ANOTHER MINE KEEPS ME QUITE COOL IN THE SUMMER MONTHS Ship them He keeps her cool. She...
blein: sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
teap0ts: is nobody gonna talk about netflix’s knockoff movies because i am like i dont know about you guys but i lost my shit at CHOP KICK PANDA like they couldnt have done KARATE CHOP PANDA or DROP KICK PANDA??? no they went with CHOP KICK CHOP KICK
voldemortandco: zubat: Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family. are you canadian
mountincest: lovemetoinfinity: fatdough: rewind-and-restart: mountincest: school doesnt even test your intelligence it tests your memory it tests my patience it tests my ability to hold my pee it tests my ability to keep calm and not slap a bitch whoa
echobo: lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake
twatsmussen: ohsnapitsnik: sherlockey-werlockey-stuff: IS NEMO GOING TO BE A SASSY REBELLIOUS TEENAGER “no dad you don’t understand me” nemo
deathofadeity: iamwizz: The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you Half of tumblr finally gets laid
cockringtoss: in other news an artist in wisconsin made a portrait of the former pope benedict it is made of condoms
tony-wiseau: atkid: everyflight-beginswith-afall: weaponizedwit: cutintostars: I like how it’s “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” and “Thor: The Dark World” and then Iron Man is just like, fuck the bullshit, we’re just callin’ this thing “Iron Man 3”. Because a secondary title would imply it’s also about something other than Iron Man. And we all know how well that would work...
detrea: fuckyeahhugsandkisses: a-little-insane: the best part about being the little spoon while cuddling is being able to rub your butt against the person’s junk The best part about being the big spoon while cuddling is getting to rub your junk against the person’s butt The best part about the big spoon as that it lets me get bigger portions of ice cream as I cry alone in my room.
partybarackisinthehousetonight: “tell me when,” the waiter says as he starts grating my parmesan cheese on my pasta. i sit there in silence and watch as the restaurant fills with cheese and suffocates everyone
tehartmonkey: thesulfurandthesea: sometimes I get frustrated because you can’t put numbers in caps 12 am I screaming? you’ll never know TWELVE DON’T BE A LAZY SHIT
safety-in-recovery: I constantly go between being extremely anxious about all the things I have to do and literally not giving a shit. There is no in between, and it’s so exhausting and frustrating.
brigwife: brendonurieshat: iamthejarvis: gabrielsaunteredvaguelydownwards: ltsnoisyupthere: cuddlingcumberbatch: cannibalisticbumblebees: BRITISH PEOPLE CALL USB DRIVES MEMORY STICKS? OH MY GOD. YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. I THOUGHT EVERYONE DID???? In canada we call them memory sticks Why would you call them USB drives? Wait, do other countries not call them that?! We call...
an-idiosyncratic-method: When you go to a friend’s house to stay the night and get stuck with the scratchy blanket. You know the one. It’s made of wool. It has satiny trim that tries to deceive you into thinking this will be a nice blanket experience. But it’s not. Every house has one. It’s buried deep in the bowels of the linen closet, under some afghans and a comforter with the down...